Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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