dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
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