my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
