I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
White coat. Heels.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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