i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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