apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
