So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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