God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
so let's talk penis.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
