you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
