My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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