Ambien. No doubt about it.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
