if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
