I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I wish I only lived at night.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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