If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
