Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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