Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
