I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
