he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
