3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
