I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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