dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
We need to rekindle our bromance
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
