): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
