Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Randomize
