Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
