I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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