I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
