there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
