Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
