with your own penis?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
