Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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