Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
