i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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