He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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