i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
