you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
