i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
