He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
