I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
