woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
