It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He felt like a one man threesome
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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