he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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