I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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