he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
