my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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