is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
