her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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