My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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