Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
