so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
