hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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