And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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