I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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