Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Is Oprah even human
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
