I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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